I have a new wonderful girl in my life, the Rock Diva Wildcat Danica, she lives in Canada which sucks but somehow we muddle through the distance, I am the happiest I have ever been in a relationship, I am for the first time in love. We talk on the fone and Yahoooooooooo everyday, when I log on and she isnt there my heart sinks. I cant wait till my trip to Canada in just a few very short few weeks :)
I could ramble for hours about my Wildcat but I dont want to bore my dear readers with mush!!!!
My other bit of good news... I have a lil voluntary job in a hairdressers called Swytches, it is the most amazing salon, my boss Annie is understanding and accepting of my MH issues and I feel like I have landed on my feet there :)
My bestest news however..... After 12 long years I have my Mom back :D I have blocked all feelings and emotions I had for her deep deep down as I knew I would only get hurt. I have learnt a lot over the last 48 hours.... My Mom has learning difficulties and has trouble understanding... My abuser uncle has had her trapped since the day we moved to Gosport 20 years ago and since the day we moved he has abused her mentally. I was young and knew no better, when I was 15 I moved into care and was free, at the time I didnt care as she hurt me with words that I now know where not her own. She was manipulated all this time. My Mom was hurting all this time and I was powerless to help as my abuser uncle was released from prison back to her house 6 years ago... why the FUCK was an abuser allowed to live with a vulnerable person I dont know.... social services stink and I WILL be complaining to them about all this!!!
I found out from my Aunty Cherry that she was also being phyisically abused in the later years... he would drink and take it out on my mom, strangling her and knocking teeth out and STILL nothing was done. My Mom was scared to do anything but last weekend when my aunt and uncle Jim had decided something had to be done after having her in tears saying she was scared they came down from Devon to Gosport to rescue her. On the day they said nothing so as to protect her. She met them and told them she had to leave.... she took the first steps to freedom, she is now safe in Devon and having a whale of a time. The reason as to why I know all this is because my Aunt wrote to me and was smart enough to give me her fone number... which I lost last year when my fone was stolen!!!
I picked up the fone and spoke to Cherry and with my heart pounding I asked to speak to my Mom. I was so nervous but I felt amazing speaking to her, I had to speak slowly and clearly and give her time to digest what I was saying as well.... sometimes I had to repeat myself but for the first time since I was a child I didnt mind doing so
She told me how she is getting new clothes, new house in a supported living type programme, how she has joined the library and is getting books to help her with her reading, she has an appointment at the hairdressers for some highlights which is something she hasnt had done in a long time. My aunt has been talking to social services and Mom will be getting some therapy to help cope with the trauma she has endured.
My mom seems so happy now, when I spoke to her again today I heard her laugh and we talked about all sorts of girl stuff. She also said she was sad about the last 12 years and wasnt allowed to even speak my name. The last thing she said to me on the phone was 'I love you round the world and back' that is the first time I have heard her say that since I was about 13!!!!!!!
I now feel normal again, I have my mom... yes she is special and not like a normal mom but she is my mom and I have always loved her and wished to have her back in my life.
I can now do what I have meant to do and look after her and support her for the rest of her life.
I love you Mom and am so happy to have you back :)
My aunty Cherry and Uncle Jim I can never thank enough, they have given me the most amazing gift in the world!!!!
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