I was having a few issues which was another reason for her visit.... I didn't care, I was seeing G :)
Saturday morning Lodger was surprised to see G but happy I think.....
G liked to have a plan, we had half decided on a course of action for the day, a visit to Fareham shopping then Gosport, this plan went pair shaped when my Giro needed cashing at Gosport Post Office so that was our first port of call. As I was against the clock and had to get to the bank before they closed at 12 we did that and as we were both complaining of needing food we then went for an allday breakfast (veggie option for me).
After being fed n watered a trip to bank number 2 was in order, waiting in the bank we bumped into S2 and S3, G mentioned that her chest was tight and had trouble breathing so the 3 of us forced her to sit down while I joined the very long queue.
After a trip to bank2 it was a trip to Argos, G looked peaky but refused to sit! then it was the pet shop, G insisted on carrying the Vax... it wasnt heavy but awkward when your having trouble breathing.
We got back to the car, blimey it felt like a trip n a half!!!! G was adamant she wanted to go to Fareham... she wanted her nails fixed!!!
Arriving at Fareham we finally found a parking space,, G was getting a bit annoyed.... cracked a bad joke that made me groan!!
First stop was a nail bar, dont ask me what its called but we sat next to each other as G had a tidy up and I had my infills done, G was finished b4 me and jokingly moaned that I was taking ages, as normal (well a girl cant rush these things) While I was getting my nails painted I looked over to see G haivng a snooze................ nuffin new there :)
I was able to introduce G to Craft Crazy, she liked the shop almost as much as I do :) G then did the moaning thing about having to walk 'all the way back to town' we did a slowly slowly walk as the cold air seemed to be affecting G's Breathing... my cue to take the mick out of G being so old :D
We went to boots, both of us needing medicines, then it was time for a coffee, so a nice Mocha for me and a Hot Choc for G, we enjoyed ppl watching and talking nails, hair and general chit chat.
A trip to MnS for a belt for G, it had to be a nice bright coourful one... naturally, and we browsed the shop a bit, at the cash desk they had some daffys on sale, I thought they looked pretty but G was like 'flowers should be growing not cut to die'
As we left the shopping centre we came out to a guy packing up flowers and guess what he had.... pots of growing daffys. I was so excited, I said I wanted some and G insisted on paying the £2!!! I hated it, not only had she paid for the daffs, but my nails and the coffees too. 'You cant afford it' is her normal reply.
On the way home I requested a pit stop to Asda, shopping was needed, We had a nosey at the clothes and I found bras that were in my size (bonus points for Asda)
We filled the trolley with the mundane food items and the important ones too... Ice-cream (mint choc chip ofc) and a bottle of tasty Rosé. G wanted to pay for the shopping and that was where I put my foot down... it was MY shopping and she was MY guest, so reluctantly G let me pay.
Back at my place we chilled a bit then I decided I had to set up the new caat sctracher and then we tackled assembeling my Vax... 2 hours later and a LOT of banter we had the thing together and plugged it in and.......... nothing it wasnt working!!!!! chek the plug, is the mains switched on yada yada, and after 5 mis of scratching our heads..... the plug wasnt in the socket proper!!!!!
What do we do now.... sit and recover from our DIY hee hee. we chat n chat about the past and make plans for Sunday..... then look at the time and order Indian.......
While we wait we chat some more and cuddle and the usual stuff, I decide I want it to be nice so set the table and light some candles, the telly hadnt been on so we had conversation to keep us going. Dinner was lovely, and the company better, we were getting through the wine pretty quick too :)
After dinner we wanted to snuggle with a film so it was on with jammies and Pirates of the caribean, we chat a little and G told me how happy she was, and we were both grateful for a lovely day (it wa dampened by a few minors but thats another post!)
Halfway through the film we're both getting droopy so call it a nite, crawling into bed for snuggles we both wonder why we're feeling slightly more awake. The last thing I say to G is 'Love you' and she says it back. We fall asleep happy.
I wake up at 4am G is not next to me, oh well she got up early, and is sipping tea at my puter (4am isnt unusual!) I go back to sleep and wake up at a more sensible time.... 6.30 ish, I do my usual sunday of stripping my bed, half way through I'm busting for a pee, so I go to the bathroom, nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see..... G was lying face down on the floor..... thinking she had fallen I shake her, she was cold to touch and her face purple, I knew then..... I panic a little and go into auto pilot, I ring S2 and she doesnt answer so I go next door and ring the door bell till I get an answer, R opens the door, Its G I say, shes lying on my bathroom floor....
R comes with me to mine, I somehow manage to call 999.... not sure what im saying, R checks for a pulse, she's not breathing I say, she's cold and purple, can you move her onto her back they ask... no I say, its too late.... R goes n wakes S2 and she comes n herds me into hers, I need my meds is all I can muster and a lot of sobs. By the time I get out the door the ambulance is coming down the road.
R talks to the paras and I drink a strong sugar filled coffee, The nice para comes n talks to me, asks me questions and stuff, I tell her all I can whilst shaking and smoking my 3rd fag (its only 7am) the para confirms that she has passed away, my mind is whizzing, I keep thinking if I got outa bed at 4 would it have been different??
I need to call someone and the first person that comes to mind who will talk to me is S, I text her asking her to call me 15 mins later I get a call back. I expalin it all to her and keep asking what do I do, I need to call AH (G's wife, they seperated when G's GID came to the fore in 2006) S being Miss Sensible says to wait for the police and get advise. It takes 45 mins for the police to arrive, they are to act as corroner and stuff. Police man (who was fit!) has to ask me questions, I answer them... I knew a lot about G I noticed! see G I did listen to ya!!!!!!
I ask about informing the family... Policeman says I can do it if I like, so around 8/9am I call AH and explain everything to her, my voice is shaking so much and I have no idea how I managed the call!!! AH is in shock (naturally) and I thought she was a little rude.... but hindsite tells me that was the shock of a stranger calling on her husband's phone saying she had just passed away and was on my bathroom floor.
Policeman has to wait until undertaker arrives so he asks about G and I manage to say all sorts of random babble S2 and S3 are with me and so is H ( you havnt met H yet) I look at my bookcase and notice G's Wig, she needs her hair on I say, she cant leave the house without her hair on!
Police man had never come across GID before so I tells him a bit and some how we manage a few laughs (dont you DARE think Im being disrespectful, G had a fabby GSOH and made a joke out of EVERYTHING so it seemed fitting. Undertakers arrive and are so so kind, I tell them about the wig and they say they will do what ever I want... can you bring her back?? I ask through the sobs, no they say sadly not.....
Police and undertaker follow me upstairs and allow me a few mins with G, I get to say bye, shout at her for all the fuss she has caused and tell her off for not waiting untill a sensible time to pass over.... My bathroom feels ever so cold and I touch G and she is like Ice. She looked so peaceful and Im sure she was smiling, I tell her that I love her so much and Im glad that she was able to hear it. I was unable to put her hair on so leave that for the undertakers. I go to my room with S2 to gather up G's valuables, policeman had to take them.... I also want to wait until they take her downstairs... I dont see her go into the car (a people carrier in blue) but I see the doors shut and I am able to wave goodbye and blow a kiss.
I'm wanting to be out of the house, it feels so cold, I grab my lappy, fags n mobile and go next door. I switch on the puter and feel that I have to share with FB that my sweetie has passed on. The morning and afternoon pass in a blur of messages, calls, tx's and IM chats. My friends are so supportive, and a lot of G's friends are hounding me for details, I tell them what I can.
I get another call from AH, she was a lot nicer and said that her children will be down to collect G's things and her car... no problem for me, I would have had the car on my drive for ever if needed.
I spend the rest of the day on my lappy and going between my house and next door.... I drink so much coffee Im going to turn into a coffee bean and smoke so much my lungs will hate me in the morning.
G's children are really really nice, LH gives me a lovely hug and I hand over G's bits to her sons, I dont really know what to say except echo what G said to me last nite.....
As I write this I am still in shock, I have done all I can and now I just hope I will be welcome to G's funeral whenever it will be. I have have spent the whole day hugging Gbear and drinking coffe and peeing!!! G-bear didnt need bathroom trips!
I think of the happy months I had with G and I smile, I know she wouldnt want me to be upset, but all I want is hugz, but G hugz. I dont think anyone one really knew how much we meant to each other and how close we had become over the last 6 months.
I have a massive hole in my heart and feel sick and cant seem to stop bursting into tears!
I love you my sweetie and will never forger you, Sleep well and we will meet again sometime. I hope your spirit will watch over me and I can continue to make you proud, as I will never forget you saying to me that I made you proud :o) LOVE U MY SWEETIE xXx
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