For those who follow me on facebook they would have noticed that Ive had a really bad week, I've been feeling bluer than blue. I'm trying hard to think positive which isn't easy when there is a black cloud over yr head, and engulfing your heart and soul.
On a positive note these mood swings are coming less frequently, but this week has made me realise how much I rely on my medication... they dont keep me stable they make me hyper and this good mood that I get is 90% due to the medication.. how do I know this u ask?? I've not had my anti-psychotics for a week and feel pony. The weird thing is that I've hardly had any flashbacks, Ive not been leaving the house much, not much change there and Ive not self harmed since my last post. I've just felt really depressed and very tearful. I've had a lot of vivid dreams and most have been good ones, albeit very bizzare and have a lot of friends in them!!!
One thing that is a massive positive in my life is college, I'm catching up really well, I've had loadsa support, there has been a lot of mis communication and I dont know whether Im coming or going with having to sit my exams but pratically I'm nearly there :)
With regards to Amber my heart is still very much broken....crazy coz I was the one who fucked it all up!!!
Oh well...... I dont want a full on relationship with anyone coz Im too in love with her, but Id love a companion, so Im not so alone. I was not built to be alone......
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